August 25, 2007

Saturday, August 25th, 2007

When it’s time to say no to oriental medicine

Some herbal teas prescribed for digestive problems are so expensive. Try $500 Can for two weeks. This is because one of the main ingredients is extracted from deer antlers. There are no deer in Korea anymore, apart from zoos. But the tea works, it really does. OK. Am I the village idiot?

Korean-Made Guitars

The school wants me to do some sing-along stuff in class, probably “old macdonald had a farm” et cetera, so I went shopping for a cheap Korean guitar.

My point is that I’m not just buying one because J.J Cale plays one, although, I would.

The guitar market in Seoul is massive. When you shop in Seoul, you often go to one place which is concentrated with shops pertaining to one specific thing.

If you need clothes, go to fabric market in Dongdaemoon. If you need a camera, there’s the electronics market in Young San.

Guitars are no different. In Jong No, they are all under one roof – hundreds of little shops. So I went wandering through.

I told the guy, “I need an acoustic guitar. Under $100.”
He said, “with a pick up or without?”
I had to laugh. The selection at this price range is surprising.

I had low expectations. I was hoping for something with solid wood that wouldn’t make my fingers bleed.

Eventually I found a great little axe called a “two man”. It’s a Chinese brand, with a factory in Korea. It’s solid wood. The sound is warm, and it’s very easy to play. Price: $70. – a markdown from $100 because I was paying in cash (not credit) and Korean won (not American dollars).

My only reservation was the color. It’s an orangy-yellow that reminds me of the color of kitchen chairs, or maybe carpet, when I was a kid in the seventies. It’s not a naturally occurring color and should never have been created. I decided I could live with it.

With the discount, I had $30 left. So I found a little repair shop and got the plastic nut on the fret board replaced with a bone – and cut for a lefty. Final total - $100 even. Throw-ins included: extra strings, a strap and a dozen pics.

So that’s guitar shopping in Korea – the way it should be. Many times I’ve called this market a big box of crap. But I’m feeling good about the new axe.

Summer School

It turns out that a lot of the behavior problems we had during the last semester could be narrowed down to one or two shitdisturbers who “spoiled the broth”. The group we have for summer session has been great.

We’ve combined the group to just one classroom. My role has diminished (or been elevated) to more of a ceremonial position. I have to show up. I greet the parents. I get coffee and take attendance.

This has given me a chance to spend some time trying to figure out what the hell these kids are saying. I bring my dictionary and my notepad and take lots of notes. It’s helped me tons already.

This should be part of one’s training before they begin a contract but no investment is made in training foreign teachers here. Investments are only related to living arrangements and visa requirements as stipulated in the contract.

In class we’ve been working on “Hansel and Gretel – The Musical”. The Korean teacher who is my partner in this English program specializes is producing and directing children’s musicals – and she is brilliant at it. So class has been a lot of fun lately.

money and everything

Money and Everything – part 1

There is a feeling right now in Korea that the economy is stronger than it’s ever been. The Won is valued higher than ever, and considered undervalued and the “kospi”, the Korean stock exchange, seems to be breaking new records every day.

As for the Kospi, a friend of mine noted that the relative absence of legalized gambling in Korea – they have a horse track and a few casinos out in the mountains, combined with a national passion for gambling, has turned many people’s interest to the stock market to get their fix. That might be true, but there’s also a sense that fortune awaits.

Meanwhile, I’m also reading columns posting statistics like
“one in four university graduates can’t find a job”
“middle class see income gap widening”
“over 60% of senior citizens say they have no plans for retirement and can’t afford to stop working” (incidentally, the most common reason cited here was because of the costs of private education for their kids - English)

In fact now, almost daily there are reports of how much foreign investment is leaving, or planning to leave Korea. One article titled, “Alarming Corporate Exodus” shows that foreign investment in Korea has fallen from $9.2 billion in 2004 to $3.6 billion last year.

The same article quotes a survey of Korea’s largest foreign
companies, saying that 9 out of 10 plan to relocate in the next 3 years.

Almost half of them, 44% blamed an aggravating business environment as their prime reason for leaving – specifically, higher costs due to the strength of the currency, government regulations and “militant unions”.

As I write this, the picket lines at a local department store have been clashing with police. Just imagine a unionized department store. Even the baseball umpires are on strike.

What do we know about globalization? Large multinational companies move operations into poorer countries to save on production costs. They enjoy cheap labor and less restrictive labor laws.

They don’t like regulations and tend to insist that the local rules don’t apply to them. They also really don’t like unions. They stay awhile, make lots of money and leave with it.

When developing nations themselves become wealthy, the powers of globalization lose interest. Shared prosperity is not really part of the intended plan. These days Korea is doing well; maybe too well for their own good.

It was less than ten years ago, 1998, when they were bailed out by the IMF, saving their economy from ruin. Go back a little further, in the 1980’s, this was a military dictatorship.

Same paper, different page, I’m reading about how the Korean and American Joint Forces here are planning to restructure the war strategy. This plan should be completed by 2012.

To summarize the details, the Koreans will have control of military operations and there will be a significant reduction in US involvement, with many of the US bases here being closed or relocated and many troops being stationed elsewhere.

Sounds like Korea may be slowly losing its relevance to the global forces.

I’ve mentioned this in bars and people think I’m way off. I did find one who agreed with me.

North and South

North Korea

Back home in Canada, we hear a lot about North Korea these days. Being a nuclear threat to the world and part of George W. Bush’s “axis of evil”, all the talk related to NK seems focused on “what to do about them nukes”, “how to free those poor starving people from that ruthless psycho”, “when they’ll ever open up and embrace democracy”, etc. etc.

They recently agreed to shut down a nuclear project site – a deal that took the US six years to broker. So that’s how high a priority it must be in Washington.

Now that NK has disarmed this nuclear site, the US, UN and so on, are worried about what to do with the 2000+ scientists and technicians who worked there. They can’t all drive taxi. Who will disappear? Who will look to shop the secrets for cash? That type of thing.

The nukes get all the hype internationally. With the war in Iraq and the mess in the Middle East, North Korean nukes are hardly worth a mention on page 50 something of whatever paper.

Here in Seoul, they talk about the nukes. But obviously, with the DMZ just an hours’ drive north of the city, there are more pressing issues.

General B.B. Bell, commander of US forces in Korea, warns of NK’s short-range missile threat to South Korea. Bell called NK’s missile technology a “very real threat” to South Korea.

Top analysts, including Chomsky, note that NK has the artillery power to destroy Seoul in less than 5 minutes. These are missiles aimed and waiting.

I could get dressed and put my shoes on. But I wouldn’t make it very far.

To put this in perspective, remember the fear that the threat of “anthrax in the mailbox” put into the hearts of Americans.

Articles in the news delve into details of the types of missiles being tested – words like frog-7’s and KN-02’s. This is not really to instill fear in the population, but because they’re there.

War Plans

The war with North Korea never really ended in 1953. Fighting stopped with an “armistice”, a ceasefire, not a peace treaty.

The US and South Korea are going to draw up a new war plan by the end of 2009.

The plan will give the SK military “independent wartime operational control” by 2012.

This will replace the current “US-Led Joint War Scenario” made in 1974, last revised in 2003.

Under the current plan, the “retaliatory offensive against North Korean Forces”, within 90 days after war breaks out, the US will commit 690,000 troops, 2000 aircraft and 160 ships.

The US military says that such exact numbers are not as important now as they used to be.

US troops are being reduced and re-stationed here. Many of the bases are closing, including the base in downtown Seoul.

They are also planning a war scheme in preparation for possible internal conflict in North Korea, such as a collapse of the regime and hordes of refugees at the border.

More control is what the Koreans have been wanting for a long time now. Every foreigner living here can easily see how much the public dislikes the American forces.

There have been incidents of misbehavior, followed by demonstrations and endless debate in the papers and on websites that all seem to get ugly – the lowest common denominator doing what they do best. Crusaders seize the moment.

Koreans tend to be suspicious of foreigners and historically, have always had good reasons for being so. Consider their neighbors, and a past of foreign military occupation. So relations with the US forces are a touchy subject but you sense that all is held together by cooler heads prevailing.

It’s true that, in this case, the new war plans seem to be what everyone wants. Korea is just not a priority for the US. They’re sending Condi in September to make an appearance and shoot her mouth of.

In Seoul, there are plans to turn the huge American military base in Young San into a public park, with trees, benches, pigeons and pocket dogs. It’s set to be a Sunday afternoon hotspot.

Here in South Korea, politicians cover the spectrum. There’s the side that wants to engage in talks with the North. There are the conservatives who see them as the enemy. And everyone in between – most of the public as wee, I assume – just want everyone to get along, but can’t forget the fact that they are after all still the enemy.

War planes fly low over my apartment, shaking the walls, usually once a month, as a constant reminder that the war games continue and this thing could still erupt at the drop of a hat.

The plan for North Korea seems to be to engage them economically. Give them the taste for money. Well, some will have money. Most won’t – but they’ll want money. By exposure, they’ll get a taste for it. And the regime will collapse from within. Capitalism, not democracy, is in the works for North Korea.

Hwang Sa, Jang Ma, Memi and Yul Tae Ya

Hwang Sa

I arrived in Korea nearing the start of spring. It’s a time people love here for the cherry blossom festivals and mild weather.

But it’s also the season of Hwang Sa – the yellow dust storm. On certain days the city will be completely blanketed in a hazy cloud of dust blowing east from China.

Koreans limit their time outside. They wear facemasks and shower off when they get home.

The major origin of Hwang Sa is the Kubuchi Desert in Mongolia. The cloud is then made more offensive as it picks up smog and pollution from Chinese cities to carry along with it.

Korea and China have started a Joint Tree Planting Program to halt desertification in Mongolia.

In July, Korea sent the contestants of the 2007 Miss Korea beauty pageant to plant trees in the desert – and of course, for the photo opportunity.

They looked cute. But I doubt anyone in Seoul is tossing out their facemask. Sure enough, it’ll be back again next year.

Jang Ma and Yul-tae-ya

Having survived Hwang Sa, we moved on into Jang Ma – the Monsoon Season, which apparently doesn’t know when to end. It’s nearly mid-August and it’s still pouring.

The news clips of devastation during the Asian monsoon season mostly come from poor villages in China and Southeast Asian countries on the coast. Homes swept away and people disappearing. It’s harsh.

Korea is not hit nearly as hard as those places. It might also be that Korea is better prepared for it. At any rate, it wreaks havoc but it doesn’t kill. Not this year anyway.

It’s a double whammy really, as Jang Ma coincides with Yul-Tae-Ya – meaning “still hot at night”.

You can cut the humidity with a knife. I’m taking 3 or 4 cold showers per day. It’s hard to sleep more than an hour or two at a time.

I guess I sound like an old woman in her rocking chair on the porch, bitching bout the weather. But I’ve been told that it’s part of being Canadian. It’s what we do.

So what’s next? The typhoons. Bring it on.

The Cry of the Memi

By far, the most distinctive memory of Asian summer, apart from the sweating, is the Cicadas. In Japan, they’re called Semi. In Korea, they’re the Memi.

The memi are massive flying cockroaches that come along in August and fill all the trees in the city. They produce this loud, offensive, industrial-sounding noise.

It seems most offensive at night. It sounds like they’re outside your window and they want in. So they are drilling a hole through the concrete to get to you.

In Japan, I saw kids playing with them. A student of mine told me the kids always look forward to seeing them. They want to put them in their pocket and take them in the house. Sometimes they find their own way into the house. I always seem to be alone when that happens.

Jip - Mi Casa

This is home. Seoul-shi, Socho-gu, Shinsa-dong

It’s humble. As you can guess, I didn’t get a parking space. Nor do I want one. They box each other in and leave their phone number in the front window. Then they wake each other up in the morning and have a row about it.

I’m thinking we could plant a few trees, put in a little garden and grow some herbs. Then add a barbecue pit and some deck chairs in the center. It’s a tough sell with the neighbors.

Shinsa is not really a family neighborhood. There aren’t many kids around. Most of the businesses in the neighborhood are brothels and seafood restaurants. It’s famous in Seoul for the crabs.

It’s a crossroads and a financial hub on the south side of the river. So there are lots of suits and places that cater to them when the leave the office.

Restaurants, karaoke rooms (called “nore bang”), whiskey bars (where you buy the bottle, not the glass), and plenty of room salons (which is what the Koreans call fun houses).

Also down the street is the headquarters for the KBA – the Korean Basketball Association. Our neighborhood also has a ton of “Wedding Halls”, which seem to be very Las Vegas styled in-and-out, line starts outside, kind of places.

I rarely ever see a white boy here. When I do, I’m always surprised. And not sure why.

We’re close to the Han River, which makes ‘life in the little box’ manageable. You can take a blanket down to the park. Lay it out alongside the river. There’s a little cantina selling cold beers and dried squid.

The park is called Hangang.

You can even order food from your cellphone, give the directions to your blanket and within half an hour, a waiter on a scooter will show up and serve dinner. With real bowls and plates. He then says to stash the dirty plates in the bushes and he’ll be back for them later.

I can’t stand the scooter drivers when I’m out for a jog. They hog the trail and blow exhaust in your face. But when they’re serving dinner, I feel somewhat forgiving.

If you’re feeling ambitious, a lot of city parks in Asia have exercise machines. Han Gang Park, here, has practically a full gym right alongside the river.

This is the neighborhood store across the street. It’s a mom and pop shop. And mom and pop are awesome. If only I could understand them. They’ve been good to me.

This is Mool (which means “water”). It’s the night club across the street. The flashing neon keeps my entire apartment lit up at night.

Mool is the biggest night club in Seoul, I’m told. I still haven’t been inside. The tunes are not exactly luring me in.

Pyeong

Being a small, overcrowded Asian country, Korea has many things to offer but personal space is not one of them. You’re considered very fortunate here to even have a room of your own.

As far as getaway trips to the mountains and the coast, they’re beautiful, but don’t count on “escape”. The queues on the hiking trails can be as bad as those on the subway escalators of Seoul.

Koreans accept the lack of space. They don’t build massive homes to show off or throw parties. You’ll rarely be invited to one’s home. Most families live in apartment blocks. They meet at restaurants and entertain by picking up the tab.

A man’s symbol of status seems to be his car. A man you’ve just met will tell you stories about how fantastic his car is and give you detailed figures of how well his company is doing. He might also mention the countries he has “girlfriends” in.

To get an idea of how you’re living here, Koreans will not only ask you what neighborhood you’re living in and where you work, but also how many “pyeong” your apartment is. This number is also a measure of success. It’s not a car or a balance sheet. But it provides some indication of where you fit into the puzzle.

I’m not sure of the exact size of one pyeong. I’ve heard it compared to the size of an average man lying flat with arms and legs outstretched – like the Da Vinci painting (which I won’t try to spell). A friend guessed my apartment to be a 12 or 13. I just say – it’s humble.

Koreans are doing away with the tradition of pyeong. I read that next year they will officially start selling and renting apartments according to the metric system, ie. square meters.

This Month's Korea Fact

South Korea has the lowest infant mortality in the world
- 3 per 1000 births, lowest along with Japan, Singapore, Norway and Sweden

In 1970, it was 45/1000

The world’s worst are Sierra Leone 160, Niger 146 and Afghanistan 143.

North Korea 42 per 1000 births (93rd place on the list)

July Headlines

from the Korea Times....

Ugly Fish Seen as Aphrodisiac

Is Game Addiction Mental Disorder?

Foreign Dancers Highlight Plight of Migrant Workers

Taser, iRobot Team Up to Arm Robots

Japan’s All-Star Speed Eater Suffers Professional Injury

Monday August 7, 2007

Today was the first day of Summer School. These kids haven’t failed any courses or done anything wrong. They’re in summers school because they are lucky. For our good little capitalists in training, there are no days off.

New Faces in Class

One of my new students is Emily. She is 9 years old. She wants to be a movie director. But her dad says she’s going to be a lawyer.

Hard Luck

I have a new student in grade one named Bum Suck.
Like the birds and the bees, I figure he’s not ready to know.

The Reviews

We got the feedback from the spring semester and the “parents’ observation day”.

The parents were unanimously disappointed with the program. No surprise.

One father told me – “it was almost good”.

Koreans misuse the word “almost”. I think he actually meant it as a compliment.

The parents said my classroom was too small, too hot and too many chairs were broken. Things like that.
(I’ve been saying this all along)

They were unhappy with the class because – the kids were having too much fun.
(in my defense, this is exactly what I was told to do)
My response – fine, give me a stick.

But as it turns out, we passed our quota for enrollments and re-enrollments. So the program lives on.


Acupuncture

I spent most of my summer vacation sick with stomach trouble. So needless to say, gone are the days of eating fearlessly in Asia. But it turned out to be a bit of a learning experience. I learned a hell of a lot about acupuncture, as well as the benefits of fasting. Don’t knock it till you try it.

When you walk into a hospital in Korea and say that you’re sick, the first thing they’ll do is put you on an IV drip, give you a wheelchair and wheel you into a big waiting room full of people moaning and groaning. Been there done that.

So this time, I went to acupuncture instead. No worries about the money either. I’m not in Canada. This is mainstream medicine here. They operate out of private clinics but it’s fully covered in the medical plan.

The principles are standard but each doctor has his own style. I went to two different clinics, seven sessions. So I’ve been peppered with holes.

The body is mapped out on your foot. So the foot can be used as a control panel to activate certain parts, like your stomach.

The first doctor I saw used four pins almost every time- three in my left foot, one in my left hand.

The second doctor I saw used about 15-20 pins - three in each foot, one in each shin, three in the stomach, two in each hand, one in each arm. Much more intense.

One misconception confirmed – it does hurt.

The doctor pops the pins in. Then he twists the pin, winding it deeper into you like a screw. Sometimes you feel a tingle. And some just plain hurt.

Confirmed – it does work.

My doctor doesn’t really speak English. So I didn’t get a detailed diagnosis - “stomach bad…yes” But he has a dictionary and tries so hard. So I appreciate the effort.

An example of our conversations…

Doc: Do you know “bloodletting”?
Me: maybe
Doc: ok. Do you know “much…fast….bleeding”? or “sucking of the blood”?
Me: maybe
Doc: ok. I will do this to you.
Me: Wait. I’m starting to feel better now.
Doc: don’t worry. I think you like this.


For this one, he has a needle that pops in and out like a pen. He punches about a dozen quick holes into the palm of your hand – the fleshy part just under the thumb.

Then he covers it with a suction pump that has an end like a shot glass. The holes all start bleeding the “bad” blood out of your system. The shot glass fills. You get a head rush. And your stomach freaks out.

I didn’t like it.




My ugly foot.

The new diet - rice noodles.