Fake World

I’ve been planning to write a story about this fake world we live in – using examples in Asia, but not exempting North America. I noticed yesterday that I was beaten to the punch by retired Korean journalist Joh Se Hyon, and he nailed it well.

On a topic like this, where the hell do you begin, and where could you possibly end, feeling like you’ve said enough. Joh was talking about the multi-billion dollar industry of brand name rip-offs in China and how Koreans can’t rightly laugh at that without a look in the mirror. There’s a reason why this country was long coined the “shopper’s paradise”.

Joh says “…every developing nation eventually reaches the point where…it should be able to make products it can truly call its own”.

What I noticed first, and where it stands out more than anywhere else really, was the pop culture. Every rich and famous musician/artist here is blatantly ripping off music from the American and Latin pop scene. What do you get when you duplicate a pile of shit? - another stinking pile of shit.
Only it smells worse because pretentious behavior is glorified and encouraged. Wealth is flaunted shamelessly - another page taken from the Western book of life. The Korean Spice Girls, now pursuing their prospective solo careers, were called the Wonder Girls.

To quote Joh again, who incidentally, being a Korean himself, makes me sound less like a critical foreigner and more of an observer, “the main difficulty stems from the lack of ideas and creativity on the part of the manufacturers, researchers and business leaders as well as ordinary people. And we can blame this on education, which instead of fostering the development of creativity in young people, has been teaching students to compete against each other by the rote memorization of mathematical formulas and historical facts.”

It’s also nice to hear such a viewpoint coming from a man of his age, who here in Asia always seem to be stereotyped as “old school” thinkers far too stubborn to recognize the obvious.

This blog entry originally began as “The Façade”.

When I hear the word façade, for some reason I think of the downtowns back home, from Gastown in Vancouver on the West Coast to Charlotte Street in Sydney on the East Coast.

Developers knock down a building and save the one wall facing the sidewalk. They rebuild the entire structure behind it and proudly present a new and stylish commercial property on a street that maintains credibility for having historical appeal in a land where our heritage is highly valued. That’s a façade.

Here in Asia, most of the cities have been destroyed in wars. Temples and palaces that have survived the wars have been protected by cultural laws. Outside of that, any demolitions are fair game. The newer the better.

The word façade came to me here when I was trying to buy a magazine one day. Staring at the rack in the shop, there were so many to choose from. The covers all had English names and English features. As I opened one after another, not a single one of them was actually an English magazine. They were splashed all over with English words. But not a single story I could read. The substance of every publication was in Korean Hangul.

I noticed the same thing at the news stand, trying to buy a newspaper. They all have English names, and every column has an English title. But there is absolutely no content in English. Every time I pick one up, I say “damn it, fooled again! That’s the last time.” Until the next time.

Moving on down the street to the bars and restaurants. Every bar has an English name. Inside, there MIGHT be an English menu and MIGHT be an English speaking server, but you can’t count on either. I’m not saying that’s what I’m looking for. I’m usually out to avoid that.

I really only go out for dinner these days and I have my favorite places where I can have a truly authentic Korean experience. The English signage is not meant for me at all. It’s not an international look to help the traveler. English attracts the Korean consumer.

One of the funniest concepts, I think, is the widely used term – Western Bar. I imagined country music, plastic cups, a jukebox, maybe a mechanical bull. At the very least, I assumed that such a place would be familiar to a foreigner from the “west”. Not a chance. It might just mean they have Justin Timberlake in their CD collection.

Any English word will do for a name. “Friend And Talk Bar” for example. Some bars in my neighborhood can’t even be bothered to work out a word. We have “C Bar”, “J Bar” and “X Bar” and “B2 Bar”. Now, even just a letter will do.

Turning on the radio, every song has an English title, performed by a singer with an English nickname. The chorus (the title repeated) is in English. The verses are written and sung in Korean. Television is worse.

The Façade of Seoul is English. A dab will do ya. Splash it here. Splash it there. English sells.

The Line

You have to wonder, in our fake world, if the breaking point will come – where we draw the line.

What body part will women decide to modify that finally makes men go “ok, that’s enough”. I recently saw an Asian girl with an “Italian style nose job” – narrow and pointy. It was beyond creepy.

In his article, one of Joh’s main points was that the imitations and fabrications are often just as good as and sometimes even better than the original brand. The copies sell. Another obvious fact is that it’s just easier. So where’s the motivation to be authentic?

The Korean version of Christina Aguilera is better. She is a Korean girl. She speaks the language her fans do. And she looks like they do, only hotter. Her shows are more accessible and the tickets are cheaper.

Well, I found out where Koreans draw the line – Fake Diplomas.

One of the most notorious characters in the news these days is Shin Jeong Ah. She was an assistant professor at Dongguk University, recently exposed for having lied about obtaining her Masters and PhD degrees in the US.

She’s since fled to the US to “sort out the mistake and prove her innocence”. There’s been a huge investigation into her life. Turns out she was having an affair with a Presidential Secretary who might have used his position to get her the job at the university. She lived lavishly. Drove a BMW, had huge downtown apartment, exclusive club memberships. The daily news brings us updates on the money trail. And they lead to her sugar daddy.

A local paper just published a nude photo of her on the weekend, which she claims is a fake.

As the investigation continued, they found out that a president of the university hadn’t finished high school.

The scandal has led to a long list of high profile confessions, as the rich and famous have started a coming out party. There’s no doubt they fear being exposed and hope the open remorse of a confession will save their reputation.

There have been articles in the paper recommending that foreigners currently teaching in Korea with fake diplomas leave the country immediately. The government has tried in the past to crack down on this and it’s never worked.

So this is the story we could just keep adding examples to forever and ever. You stop when you’re tired and it’s time to go to bed I guess. My new Beatles t-shirt cost me 3 dollars. That’s awesome.