Christmas Eve on the Road to Ko Chang

Tour bus service so far is frustrating – and this is not even really a tour, but just transit. Hours are lost, shuffling passengers from one bus to another. It was 9am before we actually hit the road to get out of Bangkok. And it was the same thing all day yesterday. I guess I’ve got a bad case of the Japan/Korea lifestyle training in my blood now – no patience for those who can’t get there act together and make things happen on time.

So on my Thai vacation, I have to undo a year’s training in Japanese efficiency and just loosen up. Here, even Korea seems uptight. The same happened to me in Mexico. We were laughed at for being uptight white boys who couldn’t relax, always on a schedule. I saw myself as anything but that.

On the way out of town, I had my head out the window. We passed a Tuk Tuk driver taking two very white, very blonde and very young girls into a T.A.T. office. The daily routine. Two more get scammed. Hopefully, they’ll ask the agent for a business card before he tosses their travel plans in the trash and makes them cry.

After sifting our way through the lies and confusion, we stuck to our original plan and got our tickets to Ko Chang on the east coast. The bus stops in Trat province, near the Cambodian border, where we catch the ferry to Ko Chang. Turned out to be the best move we could’ve made.

The past three days, things moved faster than I could keep up with them. There was really no time for notes. No time for even registering mentally what I was taking in so that I could remember it. Now with a 6 hour bus ride, I’ve got a chance to think about it for a bit.

Our hotel in Bangkok, Thai Cozy House on Tanee Road, has a tailor shop on the main floor. Thais are always trying to sell suits to backpackers, for some reason. They don’t get it. Then again, I asked one of the dealers where he was from and he said Nepal. So a lot of these shops might be foreign.

Anyway, this tailor shop in particular, advertises by plastering the walls of the entire hotel, the inside of the elevator, the rooms, everywhere, with bogus testimonials from travelers all over the world – Australia, US, UK, Germany – all written in brutally bad English, so bad that it couldn’t be them. And the guys in the photos are wearing shorts and sandals, posing with tailor.

On the window at the front is a big photo of the shop owner with “national hockey player Joe Sakie – a valued customer”. Slight spelling mistake. The photo was way too funny.

The only other thing even remotely Canadian that I’ve seen here is Dentyne gum. Is that even Canadian? No idea.

Swedish man beside me is about 60 years old and listening to hard core heavy metal absolutely cranked in his headphones. His wife poked him and snapped at him to turn it down.

In Bangkok, the main boulevard near the Royal Palace is lit up at night with millions upon millions of Christmas lights draped over the road and falling from the trees like tear drops for as far as the eye can see. The most impressive Christmas light display I’ve ever seen.

On Kao San Road last night, one bar was blasting a Nickelback album. Is there no escape? Further down, another was playing Europe – the Final Countdown – a song that’s still alive and well in the tourist ghettos of Asia, as if it were a newly released single just hitting the charts.

Seven hours in a minivan on Christmas Eve to an island where we have no reservations made for accommodations and no idea what to do when we get there. Christmas could go one way or the other. I’m crossing my fingers and counting on karma for this one. We are in the land of karma.

Over breakfast, I was thinking about arriving in Florianopolis, Brazil after a 40+ hour bus ride from Buenos Aires. It was after midnight and I was walking down the street in the dark, looking for a park bench to sleep on, when a nice guy said hello and wanted to talk. He called his dad, who in turn showed up in his car to pick me up and take me to his friend’s house – who in turn woke up and let me stay in his extra room and even woke his wife up to cook me up some of their leftovers from dinner for a late night meal. It’s that kind of karma that I’m counting on for tonight. I’ve been a good boy.

Bangkok. Skinny cats. Tired sickly dogs lying around all over the roads and sidewalks. They look dead. They’re not as scary as Mexican dogs who gather in packs and chase you down the street, or down the beach at night; or Argentine dogs that run wild in the campgrounds and circle your tent, growling and frothing at the mouth while you shiver in your sleeping bag. Here, they just look tired.

I’m reminded again that poverty for so many is a case of inequality. In poor countries, their own wealthy class have more than I could ever dream of. Yet it’s the empathy of a traveler that keeps a beggar alive to eat another day. The story of Latin America. The story of southeast Asia.

How many people can you fit in the back of an open pick up truck doing 140 km per hour on the freeway. Count the heads and feet sticking out of the pile and figure it out.

It reminds me of my high school grad year when that truck full of my drunk classmates overturned, while going from the dance at the bicentennial gym to Charlotte street downtown. Fourteen bodies flew wild in every direction. Some of them died.

It’s the same feeling I get when I see families of five here riding on the same motorbike without helmets. They definitely have a different perception of danger than I do. I’m sure the same things happened when they were in high school. Are they just better at forgetting that stuff? Or am I just more afraid of death than I should be?

Kao San Road, I can confirm, is still one of the world’s hip strips. Debauchery on every imaginable level, yet a calming vibe of safety and innocence. Open, friendly and sweaty. Gorgeous women in summer dresses. Cheap street food, open bars on the sidewalks, massage parlors, hair braiding.

But, at the far end, near the police station, there’s a huge ugly spot. Half a block has been ripped up and a massive complex is under construction. That is, I think Starbucks is on the way. This should transform a sizeable portion of Kao San into a replica of Robson Street in Vancouver, some kind of international yuppie hell. Ten dollar coffees and brand name shopping bags. It’s a shame really. But the Kao San scene won’t change. It’ll just move.

Our hotel, two blocks over from Kao San, seems primed to become the next evolutionary step for the international backpacker scene in Bangkok. Who these people are, and what they want, evolves by moving, not by changing. You can’t sell them ten dollar chai lattes. The seedy back alleys, cheap ant-infested accoms, and the fact that it’s not trendy, is the essence of its appeal. Trendy streets are what many have come here to escape – that and cold, stormy weather, boring, meaningless jobs and the reliance on television and msn for a sense of companionship. Well, everyone has their reasons. But judging from the overall intensity, I’d say that people have some steam to let off. Myself included.

People watching in Bangkok gets old in a hurry. Plenty of white men with beer guts, tattoos, sunburns and flybites and oh yeah, their hookers. But Kao San is not really a red light district. True, everywhere is. But it’s toned down a lot in the Kao San area and there’s lots of room for couples to go out and have a good time too.

British people use the word “astounding” a lot. I hear it about three or four times a day.

There’s much less to see on the road east to Trat province. Plantations, roadside restaurants, but very little in terms of civilization. The road west towards Burma was much more developed.

Our room in Bangkok was overpriced. I know that now. But no ants. That might've been worth the extra few bucks.

I did Mexico on the cheap, where the lowest price in town was all that mattered. Ceiling fans are so noisy that they keep you awake all night and are essentially pointless. And I’ll always remember one of our first nights in Merida. I slept in the hammock. Terry took the bed. When I think of Terry waking up with his entire back covered in a red rash of ant bites and all swollen up, well, maybe spending a bit extra this time around is not such a bad idea.

This trip should be the longest one we take in Thailand. With just under two weeks of play time and so much to see and do, the less time we spend on the bus, the better.

For that reason, as well as the money factor, we’ve decided against doing many cool things, which I’m noting as things that I have to do next time. I’m only three days in and I’ve already got my next trip almost completely planned.

The beaches in the south of Thailand are the famous ones – Ko Samui, Krabi, Ko Phi Phi (where “the beach” was filmed). We’ll miss all of that. But it’s a 12 hour overnight bus or train south. Returning, that’s over 24 hours of travel from Bangkok. Also, being Christmas time, we’d totally be taken for all we’re worth once we got there. So that is all in the books for another time. Considering how often I get to the beach, that could be years away.

Also the trip east from Bangkok to Angkor Wat in Cambodia is on everyone’s list – but one that we just don’t have time for. It’s a three day trip from Bangkok – one day’s travel each way, plus you have to make sure you’re there for the sunset. The Cambodian Visa is $120 US. So it doesn’t seem right to buy the visa if you’re going to pop in and out of the country. So another one on the list for another time.

We’ll be very close to the Cambodian border when we stop in the province of Trat. You can see it, just a short motorbike taxi ride away, along the coast. There are boat trips down the coast. But I hear the beaches in Ko Chang are better anyway. That’s one for backpackers on a trek. Will save that one for another time.

On the road, you're overwhelmed not only by what you're doing and what you're going to do, but even more so by what you won't be doing.

We decided on Ko Chang – “Thailand’s Second Largest Island”, as all the brochures say. (The largest and most famous is Phuket). Ko Chang is postcard beautiful. The islands to the east of Bangkok are a closer drive – perfect in our situation. That also means more Thai holiday travelers from Bangkok and less international resort packages.

Local websites say it’s quickly becoming the “Phuket of the Future”. More resorts, more noise, higher prices, all the negatives that come with development. So now is the time to check it out. There are elephant camps, monkeys, waterfalls, and exotic jungle wildlife, like pythons and crocodiles. 90% of the island is still untouched rainforest. There are two good waterfall hikes, clean beaches, fishing, snorkeling and plenty of fun stuff.

The traffic noise of Bangkok is still ringing in my ears and the pollution is still in my throat, but we’re far from that now. The transvestite at the front desk who flirted with me non-stop will give me nightmares for many nights to come. But Bangkok is behind us.

Feeling better today. Finally a good night’s sleep – at least 6 hours – the most I’ve had so far. And so far, no emergency runs to the toilet. Fingers crossed.

At the ferry terminal, we bought our return tickets to Bangkok, ferry included, confirming that our trip from Bangkok was a rip-off. Surprise, surprise.

The ferry was a beautiful half hour trip. At Ko Chang terminal, everyone piled into taxis – pick up trucks with benches in the back and luggage racks above – who took us down the west coast of the island, up, down and around, through the mountains to arrive at lonely beach.

Ko Chang, Thailand 2

Lonely Beach

It was nearly 5pm when we got to lonely beach, having traveled since 8am. Without lunch and tired, we got the last room available at “Nature Beach Resort”. It was their cheapest bungalow – next to the parking lot.

Sera lost it when she saw the hut. I’ve been roughing it for a long time but knew this wouldn’t be an easy sell. The walls were crawling with ants, the bathroom was full of lizard shit. Everything was filthy. But it was Christmas Eve, there was just an hour of daylight left and we were lucky to get something. I’d been imagining worst-case scenarios like sleeping in hammocks at a bar on the strip. So we did ok.

Prices are inflated here on the island for Christmas. Everyone is paying different prices for everything. The guy next to you on the bus bought his ticket cheaper. The beer is his hand was cheaper than yours. The bungalow next to yours is cheaper. You really can’t let the prices kill your vacation. You could move on every day in search of the sweetest deal. Or you could just figure that you’ve done ok, you’re somewhere in the middle, and relax.

Just before reaching lonely beach, we passed through the closest thing to a town, called “Kai Bae”. They have a long strip of pubs, go-go bars, restaurants, live classic rock, two 7-11’s a pharmacy, money exchange, ATM’s, and markets. It’s a bit of a party scene, not on the beach. I figured we were better off where we were.

Lonely beach is a paradise. The lonely planet says it’s becoming “not-so-lonely beach”, referring to “the secret is out” phenomenon. It gets more and more crowded every year. But it’s still rustic, secluded and so far down the coast from the ferry to the mainland, that most people stop before reaching it.

In the cove, there are two large up-scale resorts – Siam Beach and Shumiyama, and two bungalow resorts for budget travelers like us. A bungalow is a plywood hut with a thatched roof on stilts. Ours is “Nature Beach” and the other is “Siam Huts”.

It’s an interesting combination. The resorts are a quiet, older crowd. They’re pretentious, but definitely on my list for when I strike it rich. The bungalow resorts are full-on beach party fever. But mellow - not spring break in Cancun. Thank god. They have kayak rentals, Thai massage, beach barbecues every night and booming sound systems with speakers stacked in the sand that pumped out dance music and reggae all night long – which I’m sure the guests in the upscale spot next door are also making notes about in their journals.

Ko Chang, Thailand 3

Christmas 2007

Christmas Eve Beach Party

Big barbecue, fire show, fireworks, happy hour, free vodka red bulls, midnight swim, stumble back to bungalow.

You need a tolerance for drunk North Americans to stay here, which we discovered on the first night. We didn’t get much sleep, thanks to our neighbors. There were only two. But it only takes two. Also, being next to the parking lot, the motorbikes kept us awake too.

Bob Marley is at every beach party in the world.

First time in the water was after midnight. And man oh man, did that feel nice.

Lonely beach at night is Escondito without cops taking your money.







The Beach Barbecue

Christmas Day

At certain times, I’m told, the undertow can make swimming dangerous here. Other times, the water can be too shallow for swimming. We seem to have hit it right on. The water is deep and clear for swimming all day long. Then the tide goes out for the night and the water is knee-deep for half a kilometer.

I spent nearly all of Christmas day in the water, about 6 hours, and got my first Thai sunburn. The back and shoulders are now in serious pain.

Went on a little trip to Kai Bae for supplies – mosquito repellent, sun cream, tp, etc. 7-11 is your one-stop shopping in Ko Chang. Had a wicked plate of pad thai noodles.

The Christmas Beach Party was much tamer than the Christmas Eve party. Same on offer, but everyone must’ve been partied out. Actually, the cove mellowed out to how it normally is. An early night. We had the presence of mind to stay clear of the big buckets.

We upgraded to a better bungalow – in a better neighborhood – closer to the beach and farther from the parking lot.

Walked south on the road from the beach to the “town” part of lonely beach. The walk on the road was dark and creepy. Lucky not to be hit by a speeding taxi or motorbike. Could have used my flashlight but it was back at the cabin. One of the camp dogs guided us all the way to town and even waited there to walk us back to the beach.

The strip is seedy for a beach town. More go-go bars, which are like sports bars with girls. They show premiership soccer games on big screens, have pool tables and play good music.

There’s a stench of open sewers. They don’t run deep enough. There are ATM’s and a 7-day (rip off of a 7-11).

The town is a good hang-out for long term backpackers looking to chill and share stories or make friends to move on with. If you’ve only got a week, better to just stay on the beach.

We checked out a room at “Ploy Talay Inn”. Nice place. Nice room. But the cockroach next to the bed was one of the biggest I’ve ever seen.

We found what I figure to be the sweetest deal at lonely beach. They’re cool bungalows on the hillside running from the strip to the water, called “Katchapura”. Cheap and clean. Say no more.

Siam Hut has the coolest beach party. Loud, yet laidback and safe. You feel very safe on the beach here. Almost no element of shady characters. The islanders who are Thai are very laidback and friendly. And the tourist scene was cool too. Nothing at all like Cancun Spring Break. On the other hand, nothing at all like a Rainbow festival either. It was just a perfect mix of mellow couples looking for a cool Christmas. Great.

The cove of white sand beach here is small. You can walk the length in 10-15 minutes. I swim the length of it in an hour – and I’m not a strong swimmer. Yet it’s not overrun with people. There’s plenty of room in the sand. You never feel crowded. There were times, especially in the mornings, when I’d look around and realize that I was the only one in the water.

Boxing Day

First sleep-in in Thailand.
Got up at 9am. Slept like a baby.
A day, first day, with nothing scheduled, nothing planned in the books whatsoever. A day of pure leisure. It’s boxing day.

Instant coffee in my mickey mouse cup. Pad thai noodles and then a morning swim.

My breakfast was very relaxing. Thai noodles with tamarind sauce. The restaurant on the beach was chilled out. Two drunk and obnoxious American girls stumbled over to my table to smell my food. They both stuck their noses into my plate of food, spilling beer from the one litre bottles they were tipping back, their dirty hair dropping into my noodles. “Oh smell this! Smell this!” And they sat at my table. A British guy who was babysitting them pulled the girls away and apologized. It was the same two who’d kept me up the night before. I sound like an old man. I’m just not twenty anymore.

At noon, we rented a sea kayak – which they call “tri-yaks” ‘cause they seat three, and paddled south down the coast. I was hoping to find a cool little white sandy cove or coastal pub to park for a rest and a cold one. Didn’t find much but rocky coastline and palm trees. We covered quite a distance. Seems like, in this area, our spot is the coolest.

There are 4 small islands off the coast of lonely beach that you can kayak to – maybe a 3 to 5 hour trip in total. They haven’t been developed. They are pitch dark at night. So I figure there can’t be a lot of prime white sand. Probably rocky coastline that’s good for snorkeling.

Three main beers in Thailand – Singha, Chang and Leo. The 7-11’s carry all three, plus Carlsberg, usually. Singha has the golden lion label. I like this one the best. Chang has the green label with two elephants. It’s slightly cheaper at the corner store but tastes pretty good. Bars sometimes have both. Other times you get one or the other. Leo is ok. Nothing to write home about.

I feel sorry for the couple who shared our taxi from the ferry. Their stop was the first – a massive luxury resort. Possibly a trip that cost a fortune. But the resort was under construction. The concrete cutters, drilling, sawing, hammering and pounding, sounded like downtown Seoul or Tokyo. This, just a few metres from their picturesque postcard swimming pool. One thing to keep in mind if you book your honeymoon here. The island is under major construction. There are work sites everywhere along the route south from the ferry all down the west coast. All of Thailand, for that matter, is changing so fast. Kao San Road in Bangkok is another good example. Any travel book or website that hasn’t been updated in the last year could be irrelevant.

We walked all through the dirt road alleys of lonely beach. There must be a hundred little bars here, most of them really cool spots. Basically thatched roof palapas with Christmas lights strung throughout and every imaginable scrap piece of whatever hung for decoration. I saw at least twenty pictures of Che Guevara.

We had dinner at a little family spot with four tables. There were five Thai women and a little girl all wearing yellow T-shirts. They barbecue chicken rotisserie style. We also ordered the papaya salad, which was delicious but burned the tongue off of me.

Walked past dozens of massage tables and bamboo tattoo shops. At the very end of the dirt road is the coolest bar on the beach, called the “Treehouse”. It sits on stilts out over the water. There were two Thais in long dreads, looking like Marley and playing lots of Marley on their guitars. Classic rock tunes all slowed down to the point where the music barely moved. The Treehouse is a massive bar of straw huts linked together on stilts over the water. There are dozens of hammocks and most tables are low with cushions on the floor boards. People aren’t really partying so much as they are lying around.

Again, free vodka red bulls. I sat and drank with an Italian backpacker while Sera slept in the hammock and his little Thai girl from Bangkok slept in her hammock. He talked non-stop of Cambodia, as does everyone it seems.

We took a long walk on the beach back to our hut – much safer than the dark walk on the highway. Then called it an early night.

We have a massive lizard living in our shower – about a foot long if you count the tail. It’s grey with black markings but he changes colors. When he’s in the shower, he’s grey. He looked like a statue or a wall decoration, until he moved. He’s there every time we come home. And he shits in the shower, which we have to clean up. A rude pet.

Day 7

A lazy day of beers and beach.

At our place, “Nature Rocks Restaurant” has a barbecue every evening. I ordered the Red Snapper.

I missed a chance to try Red Snapper in Mexico because I was living cheap and thinking of the budget. It’s an exotic fish in tropical counties – always the highest priced on the menu, like the lobster back home.

Ko Chang, Thailand 4

Aittipol Snorkeling Tour

Four Islands in the Southwestern Ko Chang Archipelago



Driver picked us up at 8:30am and took us to Bang Bao fishing pier. Bang Bao is essentially a town built on stilts over the water in a quiet little cove where fishing boats and tour boats dock and vendors sell seafood and souvenirs. The seafood restaurants look great and there’s plenty of shopping. About 10 min. south of lonely beach.

The boat was an ancient relic. A family business. Dad drives the boat. One son was our snorkeling guide. And the other brother –a boy-girl, does the cooking and creepy flirting. They took us to 4 islands. The first three were rock and jungle. Uninhabited. No electricity. Nothing at all, apart from the snorkeling tours.

The fourth stop was Ko Wai, which has two small resorts with power generators. From the boat it looks like the essence of paradise. The sand at lonely beach is better and there was too much construction going on at the resort. Power tools in paradise.

Taxi boat service to Ko Wai is 500 b one-way. So if I ever decide to stay there, I’ll just take a snorkeling tour and jump off of the boat. The selling point was the snorkeling, but we essentially got an island tour of the whole ko chang archipelago on the old boat. This alone was worth the cost of admission.

We traveled about 90 minutes south of Bang Bao on the Southwestern tip of Ko Chang. There were so many little jungle islands, so many tiny little white sand paradise beaches. You could jump from the boat and just disappear until you wanted to be found again. The snorkeling guide saw it in my eyes. Every time we stopped, he said the same thing to me, “you have one hour. When make horn sound, if you don’t come to boat, I come back tomorrow.”

They prepared lunch twice on the boat. Plates of tasty stir fries, spicy rice soup, fresh pineapple and watermelon.

The best part was jumping off of the roof of the two-level boat. But when my mask sunk to the bottom and the guide had to dive down and get it, he asked me to stop.

The sunburn on my back is now looking dangerous. I’m sporting a big red blister on my nose. And some nasty gashes on my foot from the coral reef. Time for a beer.